This recipe was not made by me, but I did get to eat it! And ooooh man, this sucker is going into the recipe box, or at least half of it is. I’ve never had an overabundance of something be so frustrating #firstworldproblems
My one job was to get beer on the table, since this is a burger after all. I had two big bottles of Lake Effect Brewing‘s Brett Framboise in the fridge, so I grabbed one of those for dinner. Tart, fruity, gorgeous and C’MON GUYS IT’S A FRAMBOISE THEY ARE ALWAYS GOOD! Boo-thang serves up dinner to go with beer and Friday night is off to a fruity start. After a couple of bites, I asked my partner “Is this goat cheese?” he goes, “Bleu cheese or goat cheese, I don’t remember.”
I was insulted he would just list off two VERY DIFFERENT CHEESES. It’s like he doesn’t care about my feelings! I love cheese too much for him to not care. So I made him go look it up, and upon review, it was definitely goat cheese.
Anyway, pork burgers always get me excited, I think they’re superior to beef burgers and I know that is a controversial opinion. Suck it. This pork burger was PHENOMENAL. I scarfed the burger down and wished out loud for another. I would have *actually* eaten two of these, and skipped the obnoxious coleslaw (I’ll get to the slaw in a minute.).
The Challah buns were tasty and toasted, but my top bun had a fat carrot imprint, but alas, this was food delivered to me using my space phone then magically shipped to my apartment by strangers, so I can handle a slightly squished bun. I loved, loved, loved the goat cheese dijon burger spread paired with the pickled beet… a truly mind blowing taste combo. My nips get hard just thinking about it, the flavor was that good. Not many foods have that effect on people. I’d highly recommend this burger if you love either a) beets b) goat cheese 3) want to have erotic thoughts about food.
Now, onto coleslaw… why the hell did we get AN ENTIRE HEAD OF CABBAGE FOR TWO SERVINGS. When boo thang started cutting up the cabbage I told him “maybe just do half the cabbage…”
He fights me on it for a second and decided I was probably right. Later, he had to upgrade to a bigger bowl because (surprise!) it still made a metric FUCKTON of coleslaw. I can’t physically eat a half a cabbage because my jaw will seize up before I make it through the trough needed to hold that much coleslaw. After pulling out a reasonably large bowl at first, he later had to upgrade to our biggest plastic “we’re taking this camping” bowl, and we *definitely* had leftovers. Cutting the already-halved recipe in half still didn’t get it to fit on our plates. Then, lucky for me, I got some nice squishy coleslaw leftovers the next day. I love leftover coleslaw, when it gets to rest overnight in the vinegar and makes the cabbage all squishy… but I’m in the minority in liking squishy, not crispy, coleslaw.
Also, as far as coleslaws go, it was painfully basic and needed more vinegar, the whole 2 tablespoons the recipe called for was like throwing a pint glass of water at a house fire. It just wasn’t going make a difference.
At this point, everything is said and done and I’ve eaten my pile of slaw, was daydreaming of that burger and the day we’ll meet again. Oh! Blog. So I asked my partner what the hardest part of the recipe was, since he was the chef for this meal. In past experiences he had some trouble pan frying fish, figuring out when chicken is cooked through, etc, so I figured it would be something similar. His answer?
“The pork. I don’t like touching raw pork. It’s icky.”
So there you go. If you don’t like touching raw pork, RUN FOR THE HILLS! This recipe isn’t for you, according to my significant other. Otherwise, super simple.
Look at this slaw. A pile almost as tall as the burger, over half a plate of just fuckin’ cabbage. Also see sad bun top.
Anyway, if you’ve had this recipe, let me know what you think! Also, if you had any semi-erotic thoughts about that burger… we can be friends. Our palates are on the same page.
Check out the full recipe and direction on the Blue Apron website. Stay tuned for more Blue Apron reviews!
Overall rating: 2.5/5 stars since it requires an obnoxious amount of recipe adjustment and apparently handling raw pork.
Burger alone rating: Infinity stars *swoon*
This post was not endorsed in any way by Blue Apron, I’m just a big fan!